The Truth!

Well if you have not decided who you are going to vote for by now, you have two options. 1) Get yourself informed and cast an educated vote or 2) Stay at home and get wrecked.

Personally, I have been following this election quite closely and it is going to be a squeaker. The Dems are poised with legions of lawyers at the ready to challenge if it is close. So basically, you can count on endless recounts and people claiming to be disenfranchised by complicated ballots. Honestly, if you can't read a ballot, then you probably should not be voting. It may sound harsh, but the line must be drawn somewhere.

Actually the test should be, drink three beers or the equivalent, and then fill out a ballot. Those that score above a fifty percent will be allowed to vote.

If John Kerry gets elected the only way that I will be able to survive is booz. Yes, for four years I will have to be in a constant state of intoxication to handle all of the bad news that will be on CNN. I don't watch CNN, but once the Dems ban FOX news, I will have nowhere else to turn. I would rather do any number of unpleasent things that will not be listed here instead of watching the big three.

If such companies as Johnny Walker and Wild Turkey are reporting record earnings it will be because of the many of us who just can't take it. We'll have to have something as the government steals from us to give unemployable crack- heads health care and as they try to get the UN involved (I don't know if that is allowed. I just used the word "Involved and UN in the same sentence.) in Iraq by signing on to all kinds of things that will basically turn America into Europe. Well if they turn us into the Netherlands. Being in a drug induced wonderland will be better then the Mordor that we will be living in.

In the next election I guess one of the issues that I will be looking into is federal funding for liver transplants. I will probably need one by then.

So starting november 3rd take my keys and lock up my gun, because Chris is hitting the bottle. I will be drinking more then a Russian sailor on a shore leave.